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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Tabloid: Angelina Jolie May Need Liver Transplant

“An exhausted Angelina Jolie is showing signs of deadly hepatitis C — and friends fear the frail beauty may require a life-saving liver transplant!” declares the National Enquirer. 
Huh?

 According to the tabloid, Jolie has “shriveled to 95 pounds, recently suffered a terrifying collapse and is displaying classic symptoms of the mostly incurable liver disease.” “Pals are frightened she picked up the killer virus with reckless behavior during her wild young days — including heroin abuse,” explains the Enquirer. The magazine says the actress’ “devastating health crisis has put her under such tremendous stress, it’s ruining her life.” “Longtime partner Brad Pitt is desperate to keep her healthy, but Angie’s well-being is always hanging over their heads,” continues the tabloid, which claims Jolie’s supposed emergency has threatened the couple’s “wedding” and “baby dreams.” 

 What supposedly is making everyone worry Jolie has a deadly case of hepatitis C? She’s been tired sometimes when she travels. Really.
The Enquirer quotes a “friend” as saying that Jolie’s told pals she had “severe headaches, dehydration and lightheadedness” and “no energy or appetite” during a recent trip to the Middle East. “What Angelina experienced can be symptoms of hepatitis,” some “experts” tell the tabloid. Of course, they could also be symptoms of a THOUSAND other, less fatal, less sensationalistic illnesses.

But the Enquirer is convinced Jolie might have hepatitis, because of her “risky behavior” with drugs and sex many years ago, so the magazine’s random experts — none of whom have actually treated the actress — guess that she could have picked up the disease in the late 1990s. NONE of this is tethered to actual facts about Jolie’s medical status — it’s pure speculation that tries to link decades-old events to a non-existent health “crisis” in order to convince readers one of the world’s most famous women is secretly on the brink of dying. 

 The Enquirer has produced some real doozies about Jolie in recent months, but this cover story might take the cake, and it’s especially absurd given the seriousness of the allegations and the real health crises and deadly diseases other people face. A source close to Jolie and Pitt tells Gossip Cop the Enquirer story is “100 percent wrong.”

6 comments:

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  2. My dearest Obehi, firstly WELCOME BACK! I was one of your REGULAR blogreaders and your over 3weeks absense was SINCERELY felt. . . Hope all is well! A big thanx for the ADD my sister! . . . Obokhian! www.definitelykingsley.blogspot.com

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    1. Kingsley; please sort the malware out in your blog. Every time i try to read it it shuts down my laptop. I'm a potential commentator.

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  3. madam Obehi, where have you been???? was seriously worried oh. but Thank God you're fine. Keep up the good work!

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