I thought I would marry Fred. I didn’t snatch him from anybody –Ibinabo Fiberesima

Remember former beauty queen and actress, Ibinabo Fiberesima, who was incarcerated sometime ago in the Kirikiri Maximum Security Prisons, Lagos?

The beautiful president of the Miss Earth beauty pageant who was once Rumoured to be a Pastor opened up about like behind bars and her love life.

Life in Kirikiri Maximum Security Prisons

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I give thanks to God. People say I don't look like somebody who has been incarcerated for awhile. I am healed. Something took over me when I was in Kirikiri prisons. In my sleep, I still have the urge to pray. When I am in that mood, I will just jump up and start praying. It has healed me. I am no longer afraid. I used to be quite scared. I just had a baby then, I couldn't carry her. Anytime I carried her, my body would be shaking. But all that is gone now. I was in Kirikiri for over two months or thereabout. It was like a girl's hostel. I thank God that I had the experience. I am not saying that I am grateful to God because  the accident happened. God forbid! But that experience has made me a new person. I think I now appreciate people and I appreciate life better. I wasn't treated any differently in Kirikiri because I was a star. In fact, the prisoners thought I was going to be arrogant. Some of them were ready for me, but when I came, their attitude changed. They called me 'General.' They said they never knew I could be this nice. Maybe because of the kind of person I am, I adapted. It was a hard life. The prison is not anywhere you would wish anybody you know to go to. Anybody that goes in there and comes out and doesn't change, then the person is sick upstairs. They person needs help, they are not human.

Coping in jail

During the first week, I couldn't cope with living in prison. I broke down completely. I thought I was going to die. But slowly, when you meet people who have been there many years before you, the condemned prisoners, you would be okay. I came out and I had to set up a foundation. Now I work with prisoners and I go to minister in prisons. The first day I got to the prison gate, my legs were shaking. I burst out crying. I went with a pastor who told me to be strong. I got in and you need to see the way the prisoners rushed out to hug me. The day I left, I cried. I knew I was going to miss them. I had formed a bond with some of them. Some of them had pathetic stories. They shouldn't be where they are. I started writing stories about it.

Stigma

I don't feel stigmatised, having been to the prison and back. I am not a criminal. I didn't steal; I didn't set out to kill anybody. It was an accident, a very unfortunate one at that. I wished it never happened. Every day, I pray for the family. It is not easy. I pray God will heal them. As much as some of my friends abandoned me during that time, some people stood by me. They believed me and knew who I was. I have more friends now than before. But this time, I have true friends. I came out a new person. If I had done a bad thing, my conscience would have killed me. All the things they said about me throwing parties and drinking after the accident, they were all lies. They said I was gallivanting. But that was a lie. I couldn't even come out of my room! I was reading a lot of lies about me on the internet. It got to a point where I was asked not to read again because I was going through depression. I was dying.

I have five children. When it is time to pay school fees, my heart faints. But it has been well. When I was incarcerated, my friends paid for my children's school fees. Even when I came out, I got a lot of support from my state government. A lot of people have tried for me.

If I could, I would have just found a man and told him to come and marry me. But it is not my power. Do you know how many times I have fixed a wedding date? I even told Sunny Neji to compose theme songs for the wedding. If you bring the man, I will marry. It is my will and hope to get married. I want a family. I have a family but I want a man to complete it. I am not going to buy him. I know God will give me a man. I don't have any regret where marriage is concerned. I have done everything with an open heart. I don't know what went wrong. My children's fathers are still my friends. They, too, wonder how I manage to cope. They tell me I am nice. Now that I am very independent, I don't want any man that will come and give me headache. That is the problem. Maybe I will get married to an elderly man, a divorcee or a widower. Someone who is relaxed and not domineering. Somebody I can respect. If I see that kind of man, I will love to get married.

I thought I would marry Fred. I didn't snatch him from anybody. When I met Fred, he was single. He was separated from his wife four years before I met him. My daughter is Fred's carbon copy, so I see him every day. It is only natural for me to love Fred and I love him. He is my friend and brother and my baby's father. But life has to continue.