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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Agony Of Widow With 3 Kids!

IDOWU ADELUSI, in this piece, writes on the drama surrounding the ownership of a house which Mrs Olusola Ejidiran (a widow) claimed was a joint effort of herself and her late husband but which the family disagrees with.

NINE years after the demise of her husband, Mrs Olusola Ejidiran, who had remained since then without husband, said she was done sitting in limbo and called on Nigerians to free her from entaglement put on her legs by the family of her late husband.

Mrs Olusola Ejidiran

According to the 34 -year-old Olusola, the family had placed options before her of either remarrying somebody within the family and inherit the house built  by the couple or marry somebody else from outside and forfeit the house.

The widow who said remarrying in the family was a bitter pill she could not swallow, disclosed that one of the younger ones to her late husband  who had shown interest in her has more than a wife  at home and was not prepared to join the harem.

However, in a swift reaction, Mr Debo Ejidiran, an elder brother of the deceased, told Sunday Tribune  that if she was going to re-marry outside the family, only her three children bore  to late  Olubukola Ejidiran can claim ownership of the house and not her.

The chairperson of Oyo State International Federation of  Women Lawyers (FDA), Mrs Dupe Awosemusi and the Executive Director of Centre for Grassroot Women Advancement and Development (CEGWAD), Mrs Priscillar Titiade, have frowned at the development, saying that much as the widow has  inalienable  right to re-marry  any   man of  her choice, she has a right of claim to all property left behind by  her late husband.

Mrs Ejidiran who lives at Opeyemi Ajagba, Wakajaye, a suburb of Ibadan in Egbeda Local Government Area of Oyo State, was 25 years old when her husband died in 1997 from a wound he sustained on his hand.

The woman who had operated as patent medicine seller explained. "I wedded Mr Olubukola Ejidiran in 1997 and the marriage was consummated at the registry of Ibadan North Local Government.

"My late husband was an upholstery maker. He loved me and my children very well. He was a caring husband. The trouble started when a sawing machine cut a finger of his right hand. We took him to the hospital,  the cut was stiched.

"Later, he complained of severe pain from the finger. We took him to three hospitals before landing at the University College Hospital (UCH), Ibadan. He died there. That was in 2002. We were told that  he had had tetanus infection.

"When my husband was sick, my inlaws did much they could to assist us  but shortly  after his death,  they all abandoned me. My husband was then survived by his  father and mother.

"When it was 28 days exactly after the demise of my husband, one of my brothers-in-law  told me to surrender the land document of our house to my father -in-law and I complied. Before doing that, I photocopied the document without anybody knowing.

"In 2009, my father-in-law asked me to return the document  to him, saying that I collected it back from him, I told him that I did not. He said the documents were missing.

"I went to lodge   complaints about the missing land document at Mediation Centre, Ministry of Justice, Ibadan. Two of my brothers-in-law appeared before the centre and denied knowing anything about the missing documents.

"I confessed to my lawyer that I have a photocopy of the documents. He advised me to get a police report and  a sworn affidavit, which I did. Before then, they have been telling me that three children were enough for me and  that I should forget about leaving the family. They said that if  I insisted on remarrying, I should surrender the keys of the house to them.

"Due to that, I have not remarried or given in to advances from men  because I don't want my children to suffer or allow somebody who didn't know how we suffered to build this house, to annex it.

"One of my brothers-in-law, infact a younger brother of my late husband,  has been making advances at me. But I rebuffed the moves because, he has many wives, I don't want to continue my life in that kind of house . Because I did not show interest in staying within the family, none of the family members cared to know how I live with my children. My eldest child was five years old when their father died.

"The fear of losing my husband's property has prevented me from taken any step. I even rebuffed advances from men. But as it is now, I am ready to remarry  a man of my choice."

However, an elder brother of the deceased, Mr Debo Ejidiran, said he felt relunctant talking to the press on the matter because his brother's death has created a permanent sore in his heart because  he died at a tender age.

Mr Ejidiran said as far as the family was concerned, the house which was built by the deceased, belongs to his three children."She cannot bring her new husband to live with her in that house.The family is not trying to annex the house since the deceased has children," said Mr Ejidiran.

In a reaction to that, the widow asserted that the building was jointly built by her and her late husband.

She continued:"Though my husband bought the land before I came into his life, work did not start on the project until after our marriage.Behind any successful man, is a woman. If I have not stabilised the home for him,  it would not have been possible to own a house. For anybody to now attempt to rob me of  the house, my God  will not allow it to happen. I am the rightful person to hold that property in trust for  the children of Olubukola even If I should  remarry."

Speaking with Sunday Tribune CEGWAD executive director, Mrs Priscilla Titiade said her organisation disagreed to forcing the widow against her wish. Mrs Titiade asked, "Will she remain like that without getting married, will the children forfeit their father's property  if the woman should remarry?. She is still 34,  too young to remain without husband but presently she has been married to that property because she did not want to live her children." Mrs Titiade claimed  that Mrs Ejidiran was one of the numerous cases on inheritance and violence against widows and women  in general that  CEGWAD  was  handling.

The Oyo State FIDA,angered by the development said it was wrong to deprive the woman of her husband's property, since the couple were properly married and blessed with children. FIDA stated that the widow should be the rightful custodian of the proprty left by the husband and no inlaw should intervene. It also frowned at attempt to prevent the widow from remarrying any  man of her choice, saying that  had infringed on her fundamental human right. Mrs Awosemusi said  her association was prepared to fight the widow's  case for her to obtain justice.


Source:
Tribune

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