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Friday, April 1, 2011

Nigerian Men Are Thieves---Abiodun Caroline Duro Ladipo (Late Duro Ladipo’s wife)

Abiodun Caroline Duro Ladipo


sVeteran actress and the late Duro Ladipo’s wife, Abiodun Caroline Duro Ladipo, recently turned 70. She spoke about her role as Oya, Sango’s wife in the epic play, Oba Koso, the late Duro Ladipo, Nigerian men and other issues



How do you feel at 70?

I am happy because God spared my life till now, 33 years after I lost my husband. Life has not been the same since my husband died. It has not been easy. Notwithstanding, I have good reason to celebrate this birthday; just to thank God and tell Him that I appreciate his mercies and support. I thank him for giving me good health, taking care of my children and fulfilling his promises to me. The last 70 years has been a mixture of the good and the bad. Do I tell you how frustrating it takes for a husband and wife to have children and it is only the mother, as in my case, that has nurtured them? I had only 14 years of marriage and since then, there is no helper, no confidant and no one to share my life with. Shortly after I lost my husband, I knew that a dead person is easily forgotten. People forgot my husband so quickly. Whenever somebody dies, people will come around to say they will do this and that, but they’ll end up doing nothing. The earlier one realises that he or she is on his own, the better. People will promise that they will be parents to whoever has lost his parents; it is a lie, they will not. Immediately they leave the house where a death is recorded, they forget the person. I pray that children will not lose their parents when they need them most, in Jesus’ name. I usually remember my husband when there is any responsibility that I believe he would have shouldered if alive. I have nobody except God. All I do is to cut my coat according to my size. I did not mess myself up since I lost my husband because I had vowed right from when I was young that I would not have two husbands and that I would not have children for two men. Having two husbands or children for two men is very challenging to all the parties involved. I didn’t want to have such an experience. What can a man do for me? Nothing. Men will only come to steal what belongs to another man and run away. Once they have achieved their aim by sleeping with you, they take off and you will never see them again. They are thieves.

Do you think our culture has been properly promoted?

Certain things summarily disclose your identity. Major of them are your name and dressing. I am proud to be a Yoruba woman and I will continue to promote my culture. The only way to do that is to wear Yoruba attires and Yoruba hairstyles like the one on my head. What the English people appreciate in me is what we, the owners of that thing, are throwing away. It is too bad that we have replaced good dressing with half dressing. We should promote our culture if we don’t want the whites to enslave us again.

Why did you stop acting?

I am still acting, but I select the films that I appear in. Besides, there are no more theatre activities. That is my own area of specialisation. Home video has replaced theatre. I can only appear in good films that are rich in our culture.

What is your assessment of the movie industry?

Things have really changed. Our filmmakers, actors and actresses are not deep and they are not producing quality works. Most of the films today are senseless. When you watch a film, you are disappointed because it is meaningless. There is no creativity and that is why, right from the beginning, you can predict the end of a film. This is happening because intruders have invaded the film industry. Mechanics, bricklayers, tailors and petty traders have abandoned their businesses for acting at the detriment of the professionals because they feel there is money there.

How did you meet your husband?

Please, let us not go there.

Your fans want to know?

I just married him.

I know. How did it happen?

You are stubborn.

Don’t mind me; just tell me?

I met him in Osogbo and we both fell in love and married each other. It was God’s plan. I came to the world to help my husband and God helped me to help him. Let’s stop here.

But you have not answered the question?

It is a long story.

Make it short.

It happened shortly when I relocated to Osogbo to stay with my sister. Then I wanted to be trained as a nurse. I also liked to sing. My sister and her husband usually left me at home when going to work. At a point, the home became boring because I was always the only person at home and doing nothing. One day, somebody told me about a theatre group called Mbari Mbayo. That was in 1962. I started going there just to while away the time pending when I’d gain admission into nursing school. When they were trying to involve me in acting, I resisted because I didn’t see it as a profession, but a lazy man’s job. My parents also had a low opinion of acting. But Ladipo was encouraging me. I was later told that my husband had sought elderly advice and he knew what he wanted. God later opened my eyes to see my husband’s special qualities, which eventually made me marry him. My husband was a man of God; he loved mankind and had the spirit of God. My sister wanted to discourage me from acting; she started giving me many chores. There was a day my husband sent me a message that the group was waiting for me to come for rehearsal. I felt bad that I delayed rehearsal and wept. Later, I got there and my husband asked me what happened. I told him that there was no problem, but he insisted that I should tell him what the problem was. I told him what happened and he shifted the time of rehearsal forward so that I could still attend after completing my chores at home. My husband was a problem solver. He could go to any length to solve a problem for a fellow human being. This attracted him to me. Uli Beier, a German that used to call me Asake, told my husband that he would not make it if he did not marry me. This made my husband to be more desperate to get me. He and Beier had to travel to my home town, Epe in Ijero Local Government Area of Ekiti State, to meet my mother, who gave them a hen as a gift. He had one strand of white hair, which he plucked and dropped in my father’s house as a sign of his intention to be a part of that household till his death. Later, he proposed to me and I turned him down on account of age difference. I told him that it was bad for a man of his age not to have a wife and he told me that he had a wife, who was still in his house. Then he took me to a place and told me about his life and asked me to come and help him. I pitied him and cried. There, I decided to marry him so as to be his true helper. Many times, I returned the income he paid me, telling him to use it to settle outstanding bills.

Did he marry you so that you could aid his acting?

No, he married me because he loved me.

What day would you describe as your happiest?

My happiest day was when I had my first child and she is a girl.

And your saddest?

They are many. There was a day my daughter came to me that she wanted to sit for a particular examination and I told her that she had had enough education and she should give her younger ones the chance to be trained in school. But she continued to beg me, saying she wanted to complete her education before getting married. The two of us entered the room and wept. At the end, I had to sell all my gold for her to achieve her dream. That was 1989. She is now a nursing sister.

How do you think our culture can be revived?

Government should make the teaching of Yoruba compulsory in schools, while parents should allow their children to speak the language at home. Speaking Yoruba will not make them unable to speak English. In fact, it will make them to understand English better. We should address the situation so that English people will not be teaching us Yoruba. It has to start from the home. It is a shame that our children don’t understand Yoruba.

Do you intend to make your past works into films?

Our works are about our culture and real things that have happened in the south west. I am appealing to the government and well meaning individuals to assist me with funds that I will use in turning my works into films from which children will learn more about our culture. Moremi that I just produced is expensive. My type of film is expensive. If I have financial support, I will turn all my full-length plays into films.

What have you been doing to make ends meet?

It is God that has sustained me because I am as good as being unemployed. There was a time I was doing a couple of things with acting. I had a poultry and shops. But because there was no time and money, they have all gone.

What advice would you give to actors and actresses?

Whatever they do, let them do it with all their heart. They should be sincere. They should work first before thinking of money.

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